bronwyn’s at her cottage right now which means no internet and we can’t skype but we’ve been calling each other on the phone a lot. it’s really hard not to talk all the time but the phone calls make me feel like it’s grade 10 again, when we were just learning each other and asking questions and staying up late to talk to each other. something about 40 minute phone calls where i start off grumpy but end up laughing remind me of our beginning. i’m feeling nostalgic tonight. i’m so glad for all our history even the not so pretty parts.
bronwyn says my hair reminds her of lyra, the heroine of her favourite childhood books. i want to remember that. bronwyn thinks i have the hair of a heroine even when i think it’s too big and curly.
bronwyn wrote me the most beautiful poem and i keep reading it and crying because it’s so nice and she thinks i’m kind
this is so ridiculously kind, i can’t believe it. it’s so nice and unbelievable. thank you for thinking these things but moreover thank you for sending this to me and sharing some of that goodness. you are an angel. thank you x a million.
i haven’t always been good or kind, most of the time i think i can be so cruel and not right, but i have always tried my best to be a positive force in the world. i met you and i wasn’t good at first but i sent you those videos and out of a little kindness sprouted this story. i wish i could be kind all the time but i don’t know how to be the right kind of person. i wish i could be talented at lots of things and feel good and be appreciative. i wish i could be pretty. that makes me sad, that i wish that. but i wish i was a pretty girl. i wish i could make everyone proud. i wish i could do the right thing every once in awhile. kindness and goodness have been weighing on me. i don’t know.
remember that your love is more important than being right, communicate, give each other time to cool off, try not to say hurtful things in anger because they affect each other, apologize and own up for your share. idk bronwyn and i don’t fight that much and when we do it’s rarely the type of fighting described by other couples to me. we don’t really yell at each other or stuff like that. mostly it’s miscommunication, and then i often just look at her and feel melty and realize that i’m hurting her feelings and i need to stop doing it. take the high road, be bigger, focus on the good. and seriously the most important thing is recognize that nothing is more important than your love and honouring each other as people. don’t say mean things in anger that you can’t take back. if you think you might do that, go cool off. this is weirdly long.